“Every house wife is a threat but it hasn’t happened yet” David Bowie – Queen Kong

“Sometimes these poor souls live out their days without ever finding the slightest remedy. Other times the remedy that they find kills them.” Detox Diary – Jean Cocteau

If rock and roll is about anything it’s about threat. OK fool - stop your fool talking –there was nothing ever even vaguely threatenin’ about rock and roll.

Fine lets start again…

If rock and roll is about anything it’s about a pose. Somewhere between glitz, glamour and a partially unfolding, badly concealed long term death wish lies the romance of it. Now it’s good that things have got DIY and its good that things have been democratized and that so many people can have a go…But lets face it…There’s so many bands out there now just stuffed into their jeans and tee shirts that look like work men leaning on their shovels. They seem so sheepish and ironic.

They look so worried. How did they grow up? Didn’t they have tennis rackets? Were there mirrors in de gaff? Did mums have no make up to rob!?!? They don’t even seem to wanna be stars any more!! Who saw that mentalist film/documentary from last year: Dig? Remember that scene. The Dandy Warhol’s – those limpid mammy’s boys n gurls still can’t figure out how to manufacture their threat. But what they can figure out is how to go down to the remains of a party hosted by the insanoes of the Brian Jonestown Massacre…and then steal it!.

And there they are Dick, Dora and Jane – (or whatever the fuck they’re called) creeping around with camera crews in train. Inside are to be seen Anton and his dissolving wreck of a band dying on couches with needles stickin’ out of their arms..and the Dandys all creep in with cameras. “lets do the photo shoot here” say the bright eyed sticky fingered scions of the suburbs…we wanna be famous but we lack it ….soooooooooo… lets STEAL it. We can thief their rock and roll – lets rub it into ourselves maybe some of it will stick!!!

So they, at least, got to first base. They know there’s something you need.

The Coldspoon Conspiracy, on the evidence of this gig, haven’t even made this conceptual leap. Looked to me like low key Rednecks Copyists – maybe I’m being entirely unfair. It was the Lower Deck – it was free – I was wrecked. Captain Moonlight that other night in Bohs – no one raps booze like him – “now we’re hurlin” I hadn’t (hurled yet) but stomach was nervy…Any how the word “free” had worked its magic allure. Maybe The Coldspoon Conspiracy were OK. Actually they were and then the guy started to sing – aw jaysus its just a mess, no leave it, feck it, put a full stop on it, bring it to a halt – there it is …stopped.

Twice for good luck - Full fecking STOP.

Then Betamax stepped up. Now this is what I’m talking about. Anyone can swagger in the Point Depot, swish in the Olympia, maybe even wiggle a bit in the Music Centre. But I first saw these guys come out a play to 20 or so beard stroking musos on a piece of four by four in lazybird in the international supported by 2 guitars eating each other on a table (or some such experimental thingy anyway)…but they still looked like they had just come back from supporting David fucking Bowie. No wait they looked like he supported them. They looked like they owned the world.

No change tonight either. Almost like a shower of slightly aging but still pretty hot rocker toy boys or Ladytron if they were all male. And the debate rages long into the night – Whose you’re favourite? Its the Spice Girls thing all over – take em out all night dress them up etc etc – the ladies love it maybe a lot of the lads too? What, songs? – you want songs too. Yeah they have a pretty good belting power pop robo voiced synth rock style and they look the part – rock n roll…That tune xxx robot is it? Punk disco is it? – Why not? – spiky, destructive – well good.

Who else played? – Oak. Not quite poseurs but they threw some nice longhaired metal shapes and they generated a monster Sabbath style sea of riff. I liked them – maybe not quite as much to my taste as those glamorous video tape formats but top quality throughout and greatly appreciated by the moshers up front.

This brings me to gig two. Back at the afore mentioned Lazybird where the chin strokers had decided to turf out the drone and dabble a bit in the confused magic of glam punk. What is going on where is this shit coming from? – 2 bands in one night both with syn-drums – magic sit back and drool – I did.

First up The Retards – billing themselves as synth pop nihilists they proved easy to enjoy and impossible to categorize. You want poses – the balaclava is back yeah! Not since the heady dayze of TD terrorist have I see this dodgy move go down on a Dublin stage. But top marks for trying. The music was stunning – some where between Big Black and the Boredoms with a lot of industrial thrown in – raw, rawkus and percussive it wrung cautious nods from the musos…OK they where head banging by the end…

And then Queen Kong. What ever it is the Dandys searched for in that dodgy house party aftermath these guys have growing out of their heads like cabbage. They pose like there is no tomorrow. Missy out front is a dreamy teen aged night mare - with that 1982 Clare Grogan shockative (word tm Clare 2006 – all rights reserved) bleached blonde hair, bright blue eye shadow and black boots. The guitarist favours fishnet uppers and leopard skin leggings, one of the boys rips off his top – oh oh slightly misshapen never mind who are we to talk? – But feck they are posturing, pouting – they have lipstick– oh look what’s written on his guitar? –“rock star”…But its not just vogueing they have songs too and miss minx can siiiing and screaaaam (she demonstrated it maybe too often) – In fact she has an extraordinary voice. They have a sparkling, noisy power pop sound that could scoop up those rinky dink hoes sometimes known as The Chalets and leave them in the mickey mouse place – for ever. Watch out Queen Kong is coming!! They call them selves synth pop deconstructionists and they will be sweetly and spicily fucking things up. Many years ago I saw a music journalist waste the image of a “scud missile with an angel delight warhead” on some useless shower of fops. OK let’s reclaim this metaphor of mass seduction - here’s a crowd that will fit it like a glove!

KONG!

Labels: Ballroom of Romance, Gig Review, Guest Blogger, Krossie

Monday, April 03, 2006

Dispatch 12: Three Out of Four

So I have been traveling for 8 weeks now to the day. I have only had three days that didnt' work out. Three days. These three days have been in the past four, which have all been in Chaing Mai! Really disasterous. the thing is this is the city where "you just have to go to" (don't believe the hype!) everything is pre organised for you. Life becomes a package. The reason people come to Chaing Mai is to get out. Really, its for organising treks, taking classes etc, it is impossible to just enjoy something on your own, there are set prices/times etc for your enjoyment. You want to see a park but the only way to get there and back is a group taxi and they say you can only stay an hour. When you refuse and stay as long as you want there is no way to get back.

But here comes my love hate relationship with the Thai tourist industry. I hate how they organise my time and tell me when to smile, laugh, take photos and when to leave. But since they have a reputation to uphold you can work outside the system. Like yesterday we were 30 km away from Chaing Mai on top of this mountain the only westerners in this beautiful park (the rest of the westerners were told that they had to leave by three but the place is open for ages after that). So we walk out and there is no tuk tuks to be found. We were planning on starting to walk and hitch a ride. We decided to ask the security guards if there were anymore buses or taxis. Suddenly they went into panic mode, two falangs got stuck here, oh no. This guy started to stop cars and he hooked us up with a ride back.

The same thing happened to me today, I rented a bike and biked 12 km out to this water reservoir ( I will have water surrounding me even if I am in a land locked city!) of course the bike breaks down a few km from the place. It was only the chain falling off, but for some reason the chain is covered in metal casing and with no screw driver or anything that could act as one, the chain debilated the bike. But the park guy concerned that yet again a white tourist would be put out found someone to give me a ride in the back of their truck to a place I could fix the bike.

The contradiction of the Thai tourist industry is that if something does go wrong in your world and it is there fault or at least not your own, there is no apologies. This country is said to be the land of a thousand smiles, but really people here don't seem happy, they only smile when they are ripping you off. But lets say there is a huge cockroach in your food - no apology and definitly no discount. Lets say they forget your food all together or give you completely the wrong thing- you are treated like you put them out for reminding them you did order something. And lets say your bike breaks down in the middle of no where, you have to walk a few kms in the heat to a place you can rent another bike for a few hours and then pay to get it fixed. Well don't expect anything in return instead expect to feel contempt as if your sheer existance has put them out.

It interesting to note that the Laos people seems to smile for real and laugh all the time. They live in a poor communist country. Thailand is flithy rich in comparison and I have never seen a people so miserable.

Did i meniton I hate it here! Overhearing brain dead American conversations is mind numbing enough when they are in their 20's but then you see them a bit older and you realise that the idiots and the assholes somehow get positions of power. The same guys you hear screaming white power (with out realising the connection to any nazi idiology) at a boxing match between a Thai guy and a Canadian grows up and sits in a restaurant with you and talks about how people at work have a duty to serve you and if you just change the language around and make them sound more important then they are they they will be happy to serve you. AHHHHH!

I hate tourists, the tourist industry and not the biggest fan of Thailand (at least where they have high quanities of both of these) But take me to the non tourist rest of South East Asia and my heart beat drops a few beats and I feal that I am in paradise and might never leave.

Labels: Tourism, Travel

# posted by Reeuq @ 5:32 PM

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Sunday, April 02, 2006

Grimey Bass Lines Rumbling In My Tummy

With grimey bass lines rumbling out of the TBMC powerhouse speakers, you knew it only had to be Vex'd that had taken the stage. The visuals with the duo's name floating in the background certainly helped in this wonderous identifaction process as heroin laden hoover noises delivered an aural spookiness over a well up for it crowd. I'd been quite looking forward to Vex'd, their Breezeblock mix was voted mix of the year last year by the show's listeners, it being over here in zip format and their last release Degenerate and some other yoke I downloaded called Function have been sending vibrations up to the people above the flat for about a week now. They deliver the sort of set that could really go in any direction, you expect more pounding buildups or it just to kick off in a harsh DnB direction, with patient breaks clanging in the background, Vex'd were fucking, dark and dirty skagged out of it sounding shite and they were good, as punters bodies flowed in musical waves in this confused manner that asked how the fuck does a Dublin crowd dance to this? This ain't East London.

This was a very odd mashing of niches in a sense, coming in under the Leechrum banner who hosted the night for Mu/Warp, everything screamed breakcore, but it was only the Person who delivered a blistering Winnipeg Is A Frozen Shithole-esque Snares sort of set with gabber threats in the background in a typical vein that promoted momentary out bursts of pit behaviour. It really was odd to have him slap bang on after Vex'd, leaving it impossible for Milanese to down tempo again with some dubstep sounding like it was being strangled in an emptied oil barrel. No surprise one pocket of punters just started shouting "where's Chris Clarke?" during Milanesse. Feck sake. But you had dub step/grime/breakcore/classical warp sound seekers and fans all thrown in together under an assumed common banner of what exactly? And then left surprised when it wasn't meeting their expectations throughout the night. Breakcore no longer fits the pattern emerging at these gigs, if anything breakcore has become a handy byline for a scene that is all ears and eager to what the UK underground is churning out through trusted filters like Planet Mu and on the blogs documenting the productivity of what the estates are churning out like Guttabreakz. This umbrella effect has even being noted on forums such as Tolling Gang and U75 during the week with the question asked "is dance music dead?" before focussing on its underground regeneraton under breakcore and another with an audience left wondering is DnB the new punk? Maybe in mid 1990's, with no doubt what they were talking about hearing was breakcore.

The Person has come on huge since his Exile/Chevron in Belevedere support back there in summer, which if memory serves correctly consisted largely of metal guitars being dropped in quicky in a real rave revivalist clash of samples. Was it all original or was he dropping tunes? I missed out on getting one of the 25 cds though..pah.. I was delighted to see Vex'd live, it was very "bass culture" hoover noises rumbling in my belly- totally different to how I hear them in my ear phones as nice, quite chilled build ups but filled with a paranoid vomit inducing tension if you let it get to you. Industrial as fuck, I can only hope Autechre sound as promisingly transformed live...thump..thump...as for their label mate Chris Clark on the night? Well, with a crowd banging the stage for more at the end, what can you say? Throughout the night was given a visual edge, with banners strew across the stage's front, some mad out of it bloke who probably thought he was acting as a conduit for the crowd's delerium with charcoal strapped to him splattering out drawings on a huge sheet of paper. The 8 foot tale grim reaper reaching across the crowd with a scythe during Clark was a great touch too, and you have to beg the question of those who claimed to have missed it leering over them.

Labels: Breakcore, Dubstep, Gig Review, Vex'd

# posted by antrophe @ 5:28 AM

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Saturday, April 01, 2006

Dispatch 11 April Fools: All the Pubs are closed

So it suddenly hit me that today was my last Saturday and that I shouldn't be saving my big night out for my last day in this city since that will be a Tuesday. So I change gears and get ready to go on an adventure to find the lesbian bar. Since the two of us have looked so much like dykes compared to the regular backpackers I had no hesitation on asking at the front desk of our guest house where the dyke bar was. I went with the information that I have. There is a place called Le Femme Fetale and I have what looks like an area but no address. The first woman I ask tells me that its Saturday and therefore closed. I give her a look of suspicion and go ask the expat what the story is.

Since I have been here there has been some political upset in Thailand. The Prime minster made a few bad moves and people don't trust him as much now. Huge protest on the streets and people wanting him to step down. I really don't know the details, but there is something to do with a free trade agreeement that people don't neccesarily want and he was just going ahead with it. While we were in Laos they called an election. And the election day is tomorrow.

How does this effect going to a lesbian bar on a Saturday? Well aparently the night before an election places don't serve alcohol. Seriously. This is a typical Thai strategy. You don't want apathy due to a hangover so you ban alcohol the night before and day of an election. Which then fouls our plans for dancing with Thai dykes grrr politics.

Labels: Queer, Travel

# posted by Reeuq @ 6:51 PM

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Dispatch 10: I Hate Chaing Mai AKA We Were So Spoiled in Laos

So I find myself in a city that EVERYONE says that I will love. Meanwhile my body goes into shock on driving into the centre with all the lights and people and it makes me think that Chaing Mai is to the 20 year old backpacker what Pattaya is to the 50 year old male ex-pat. I do have to realise how spoiled I have been in Laos, where the builidings are beautiful, the food is great and cheap and most of all the tourists are quite and few and far between. Everything in this city screams backpacker and really these are a breed of people I have kept away from. Not to say that your average backpacker is someone I would have nothing in common with, just that to have no else around when you go hiking and swimming in waterfalls, kayaking or cooking has its perks. Plus the Laos people themselves are just more chilled out.

The thing is Laos is a communist country right. And that has its advantages. No major corporations, no sales billboards. The governement won't let multi nations in. Even though they have all these minerals they refuse to let Americans into the country. They finally let the
Australians in, with the understnading that they had to hire Laos people. And if there was not a skilled Laos person they had to train them and replace the Aussie once training was complete. when you go to a market or a store the people making the stuff are right there. They are not screaming at you to buy. But here "BUY BUY BUY I make good price for you . . ." so much junk. Its overwhelming.

We have made a good go of this city and found what it has to offer us, including Maui Thai, which is the Thai kick boxing. Which we sat through 3 1/2 hours of it yesterday and got our selves all riled up. we might even take a class. And today we went to a cooking class on this organic farm. I will leave this city will so many great experience while hating it all the while. Strange that.

Labels: Tourism, Travel

# posted by Reeuq @ 12:02 PM

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