Presenting the latest Mind Numbing Muppets - in which our antagonist returns with another series of insults and a slew of failing comic sarcasms..

Number 8: The You're A Star Voting Public

That angsty little grunger shite in me really never had much time for the whole reality TV concept, especially when it came to the all singing, all dancing moronics of shows like You're A Star. What with a combination of plastic pop, over bearing music industry eyes and no risk taking - the show comes right off that shelf populated by Winning Streak and other gems from RTE's programmaing for brain injuries unit.

TV as a background noise can be quite the habit and so we were sucked into the faith of those South Eastern small town messers Scuba Dice. Motoring their way through a slew of obvious "rocker" classics, they were the naive pop-punk fly in this whole middle of the road ointment - the local punk band made good. How we loved to watch their fashion tips from Asha Boutique get more out of hand, their haircuts less stable and the banter with 21 Demands grow.

Toning up their highlights with tinfoil in thier hair and faces caked in dollops of foundation, the behind the scenes Friday evening show really left the impression that 21 Demands are a band in need of lessons in make up from the Beaut girls.

You couldn't be annoyed with either band honestly. Scuba Dice will never be heard of again apart from some charity single if they are lucky. In the case of 21 Demands despite what that Louis Walsh clone Peter and Rojo tries to tell us and their cretinous faked emotions - they'll disappear over a short horizon of Bebo stalkings. No self respecting fan of alternative rock will fall for something spawned from a reality TV show. Even Brendan O'Connor managed to lift himself up from his status as the nation's officially annointed arsehole to land running digs at Linda Martin and the rest of this orgy of the bland.

But then there was David O'Connor. You'd hope the nation would send him home with a bullet in his head rather than a smile on his face - but it was you the voting public that let us all down and voted the over sized jockey past the last furlong.

Possessing the charisma of a Students' Union welfare officer, this timid creature looks incapable of rising to the occasion of swotting off a vampire bat sucking on his knob let alone real stardom. Hopefully in the next two weeks he'll disappear into the country and western circuit of mid-lands farmers in cowboy get ups to croon his way through the hits of fucking Brit Pop. And if he doesn't? Well...

Labels: Muppets, TV